A Chill In The Air

A chill in the air
The crickets are silent
Days grows short
The earth readies for slumber.

Quiet in this time of rest and rejuvenation
I embrace the cold dusk and dark night,
Close my eyes, and patiently sleep.

Knowing spring is coming,
Mother will again be adorned with crocuses,
And I will dance with abandon in the morning.

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Iche Liebe Dich, Meine Schatze

(I love you, my treasure.)

Be my lover and my friend
And my life will be the fuller.

Walk with me along the sand
And always be my treasure.

Stay with me through trying times
And I will be the stronger.

Grow old with me in ripened years
And warm the coming winter.

Welcome me home within your arms
And ever be my shelter.

Accept my devotion and my heart
And I will be your harbor.

Hold my hand down life’s long road
And my love is yours forever.

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The Blush of Never Before Felt

A leap of hope
Uncharted waters
Trepidation while forging onward
Finding home in your arms
A safe harbor

Communication
Cherishing
Growth
Trust

Wishing, hoping, praying over countless years
Thinking it was unobtainable until…
You
Me
Us
We
This

Unconditional existence
Seeing the beauty of you
The best in me being brought forth
Your wanting of me
My wanting of you
Our coming together

The feeling of love

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My Self-Worth

If the past would stay 'past'
If the me that was would stay 'was'
I would be happy...
I am happy!

You are still living in the past.
You can't see me for who I have become.

I accept you for who you are.
Only expect what you are able to give.
I love you unconditionally.
Please extend me the same courtesy.

I try to keep my life centered, calm & well balanced.
I try to treat everyone the way I deserve to be treated.

You seen to take delight in knocking me off my axis.
Telling me I'm not living up to your standards.
I spent my life thinking I was not good enough
That if I fit into your mold, I might be validated.

I have found the harm in your propaganda.
I see your manipulation game.

I no longer have faith in your wrongful image of me.
I will not give into your hurtfulness.
You will not strip away my self-worth.

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Warning Signs

I am a Rock
Walls within walls
NO TRESPASSING
I have been hurt
Not by you
But you could if given the chance

I am an island
Spring oasis
DANGER UNDER TOE
You have been hurt
Not my me
But I could if given the chance

PROCEED WITH CAUTION

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Among the Trees

I lie in my bed gazing through the window at the dawn
The illusion is given of being in a tree

The branches my bed
The leaves my pillow

I think of you and the illusion becomes a waking dream

Your arms the branches, embracing me
Your bosom the leaves, cradling my head
Your breath the wind, caressing my skin
Your face the sun, warming my soul
Your voice a bird's song, lilting "Be Mine"

I long to have you beside me among the trees.

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Shore Maiden

4:30, I stir with the sound of birds heralding the dawn.
The air is crisp as I sink deeper into the warmth of my bed.

My thoughts settle on a Mediterranean shore maiden.
Skin of palest olives, hair of ebony and the waning night sky reflected in azure eyes.

This Italian goddess occupies my thoughts these resent days.
A beacon in my predawn dreams.

As I return to slumber, I long to meet her and lead her into the light of day

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I Will Not Fade

Paints
Pixels
Words
Yarn

These are the my tools of expression, creativity, my outlet
If you take one away
I will survive
I have others.
If you take them all away
I will go mad
I will crumble and fade
If you have compassion, please, leave me one... just one

NO, that is the old me

I will find another outlet
If you take that
I will find yet another
And we will dance this dance and I will win
For I love the new me
I will not crumble
I WILL NOT FADE

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Comrade

We've shared such private things
We've become friends

We've talked over countless hours
To find we're comrades

You don't have to ask
Just take me in your arms

We'll still be friends my comrade
With the dawn

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Umbrella

One rainy day, I offered an aged man my umbrella.
He graciously declined.

I said to him "Sir, you are wet through and will catch a cold."

"Perhaps," he replied, "but the winter of my life has been long and this spring shower is delightfully unexpected."

"Surely you are concerned about your health."

"Young Lady, my body is no longer my concern. The day of my death is not known to me. Perhaps I will die today. But for this hour it is still mine.
I am walking in the rain to feed my soul."

I bid him good day and as we parted, I watched him for a minute.
I saw the light of youth in his face and the joy of boyhood in his footsteps.
I turned and walked away.
But first I discarded my umbrella.

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Off Limits-Limitless

She is my comrade in adventure
I could fall in love
But she’s straight
I file her under ‘Sister’

My heart has many rooms

He makes me laugh to tears
I could fall in love
But he’s married
I file him under ‘Brother’

My life is full

She inspires my social conscience
I could fall in love
But she considers me young
I file her under ‘Mentor’

My love is limitless

He inspires my creativity
I could fall in love
But his carapace is thick
I file him under ‘Muse’

My soul is being fed

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My Private Mother Earth

Daughter of the Goddess,

To taste your lips of pomegranate
To become lost in your eyes of evergreen
To be entangled in your locks of chestnut
To caress your skin of butter-cream
I long to worship before my private mother earth

Do you only exist in my dream?

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Friendship On Fire

A wise man once said to me "Love is friendship on fire."

I say to you, "A fire has been lit inside of me".

To nurture or extinguish this flame is your choice.

For the fire burns only for you, my friend.

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Companion

The flowers bloom
Dressed in morning dew
I am sad.

The wind blows
Bathed in sunbeams
I am sad.

The rain falls
Shadowed neath black clouds
I am happy.

I have a companion for my tears.

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Artisan

I do not tell you my history for sympathy
But understanding.

I was not damaged
But tempered.

I am not the creator of my past
But the artisan of my future.

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True Love

He has loved her from the start
It can’t be helped
She is the love of his love
There is a twinkle in his eye when he thinks of her
He beams with pride when he speaks her name
As the years go by his love will grow

She has loved him from the start
It can’t be helped
He is the love of her life, but only for a while
One day she will leave him for another
When that day comes, although sad, he will let her go
For he knows he was her first love
And they will always remember
How a father’s love is always giving
And a daughter’s love is always true

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My Desire

With your warm body, envelop me
With your sweet scent, intoxicate me
With your strong hands, cherish me
With your soft lips, caress me
With your moist tongue, explore me
With your firm mouth, devour me
With your whole being, consume me
Take me from this world
Within your arms return to sleep with me in enraptured dreams

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Bombay

Faceted blue reflections on fading memories
Gin soaked olives
Juniper dreams
I long to revisit your shores

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My Heroin

Lovers fourteen years ago
Our embraces long, the world would disappear
I can still feel your caresses on my skin
I hate that.

I never tried to make you change
Perhaps I should have tried
You always loved me for this
I hate that.

We didn’t communicate very well
But when we did it was rapture
I can still recall your sweet sweat on my body
I hate that.

Fourteen years and countless lovers gone by and we still are embracing
We can’t let go
I hate that.

I can’t be around you any more
It’s too painful
I hate that.

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Thirty-Seven Years

Four
Molestation
Babysitter
Nine
Twelve
Molestation
Boys
Bullied
Kids
Beaten
Mother
Abused
Stepmother
Rape
College
Drinking
Drugs
Suicidal
Hospital
Cutting
Hospital
Medication
Zombie
Hospital
Hospital
Therapy
Therapy
Medications
Trust
Love
Self-worth
Self-esteem
Therapy
Sober
Vibrant
Joyful
Happy
Gay

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Eighteen Years

Our Friendship
Our Loyalty
Our Sisterhood
Our Adventures
Our Laughter
Our Tears
Your Stagnation
My growth
Your Envy
My Joy
Your Misunderstanding
My Enlightenment
Your Betrayal
My Anger
Your Coldness
My Pain
Your Lose
My Gain

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Pages of My Life

Looking back on the pages of my life
What I've written
What I've said
What I've done
I'm grateful to see I've come a long way

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To My Dearest

Meet in the nut bucket
Hard road to sanity
Sometimes needs to be take along
Parted to make a healthier whole
Healthy now
Put your ring on
Called two weeks later
Thought we had time
You died two weeks ago

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Grace

Loving
Kind
Giving
Sweet
Told the longest stories, again and again
I listen every time
Raised us all
Children and grand
Near the end it was my turn to return the gift
Wish I could tell her "I love you" one more time
She hated to hear it
I never listened

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Bridge

I stand before a bridge I crossed too many times
Empty gas can at my feet
Match box in hand
Spark
Flames
Embers
Ashes
I stand before a river looking to the far shore
Farewell

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